Ello :)
Friends - we all have them, we all can't live without them. But what actually defines a true friend? in my opinion it's loyalty and honesty - a true friend won't stab you in the back, a friend doesn't gossip about you or rat you out to other people- they can keep secrets, they support you in everything, they sacrifice things for you (e.g doing something they don't necessarily like because you like it). This blog post is going to explore what i define as a friend and whether i think i'm a good friend?
There are many quotes surrounding the definition of a true friend, which i'd like to share with you:
Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself - and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That's what real love amounts to - letting a person be what he really is.- Jim Morrison
(If you're looking for a friend without a fault, you will be without a friend for ever)
One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and to be understood. Luc`ius Annaeus Seneca
Friends show their love in times of trouble, not in happiness. Euripides
Its hard to define a true friend as everybody has a different opinion as to what that is. To some it's loyalty, how long they've been with someone can affect how they define a friend; to others it is honesty, someone who is completely honest with you, someone who tells you everything that has been said about you because you would want to know, someone to tell you where you are going wrong or if you are heading in the wrong direction.
I've known some friends in my time who are certainly loyal but not all of them completely honest, they've said stuff about me behind my back, i admit i have gossiped in my time about people but i've never said a cruel word about them just stated facts or things that others have said, trying not to give names. And those "friends" i either cut them out of my life or if i can't do that surround myself with the people i refer to as true friends.
Unfortunately it is a natural thing particularly for girls to gossip, it's generational and it's in our nature, it's also extremely difficult to avoid nowadays but the best thing to do is to block out what everyone is saying when it comes to gossip or just plump in with a few yeahs and i get that as no one can twist it on you, you have never said anything negative about them. I tend to disclose myself from gossip of if i do gossip only gossip to those i trust and those who can keep secrets.
I recently found a quiz on psychologies called Are you a good friend? as i wanted to see whether i can consider myself to be one or not. Of course this doesn't undoubtably define if you are a good friend or not because that depends on personal opinion of your friends as to how they define true friendship.
Here are the results:
You are empathetic
You make friends by being sensitive to the messages others give out so that you can be in tune with their emotions and take into account their point of view. Before you enter into a friendship, you like to ensure the other person is a good listener, since this inspires you with confidence. In such an environment of trust, intimate and emotional relationships thrive. Although your compassion and sensitivity are great when things are going well, they don’t serve you so well when there is conflict. Since you are so emotional, you find it hard to respond to criticism or attacks, especially from people you are close to. You tend to give your time, help or advice without expecting anything in return, which often means your sacrifices are not appreciated. You put other people’s needs ahead of your own, even if that means you suffer. You need to ask why others should take priority over you. In your childhood, did you have to expend a lot of energy to get love back? What criticisms or anger have you buried for fear of rejection? To get back to being the centre of your own world, you could learn how to please yourself (by listing, for example, the things you want to do but don’t allow yourself to) and how to receive gratefully everything from compliments to presents without necessarily being the first person to give something back.
For me, these results are highly accurate as stated previously in my Dear Future Self blog, i find i make a lot of sacrifices for other people meaning a lot of the time i suffer. Most of the time i have to ask my family to do the things i would rather do because some of my friends won't do it. They know me very well, they know what i like/dislike however that doesn't necessarily mean they will do things i would like to do. As i have a large friendship group it can become difficult to do something that a couple of people want to do when no one else in the group wants to do it. If there is something i would like to do i tend to ask those who i know express similar interests or are more likely to go with me first and so far this year it has been working. As i have friends i have gained from work as well i hang out with them more, but i don't neglect the group i began with. I do spend a lot of time giving friends advice, support and comfort and genuinely i don't expect anything in return because it's the person i am, i don't want to see people upset and am very much a motherly figure to most of my friendship groups. I don't take criticism well from those close to me but it is mainly because i'm very sensitive and with previous events still quite fragile but i aim to make my skin a little thicker so i can take criticism. 
Upon improving myself as a friend, i think i need to be a little more selfish because i do feel left out at times as i conform to the group and it's not necessarily something i would like to do but because i want to see them i do it, by being a little bit more selfish i think my happiness would improve as i'll be doing things i like to do as well with the people i love. I also think i should thicken my skin and take on conflict and criticism a bit better as it's improvements it's not insults so i shouldn't take them on board as if they are.
For those who know me, would you define me as a good friend?
And for those who don't, do you define yourself as a good friend? What do you think makes a good friend? And if you take the quiz, what were your results? Comment Below, i'd love to see your opinions.
Feel welcome to comment on any of my posts not just this one, i only ask for no hate comments, improvements are welcome.
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